Rumination reset

How to step off the overthinking spiral with curiosity and values work

5 min read

When thoughts keep swirling seemingly without direction or resolution, we can feel stuck, upset, angry or simply exhausted. Rumination is a common experience for neurodivergent people. Repetition is a format our brains know well and, in some instances, thrive on. In others, it can be damaging and debilitating. We'll look at one technique to work through persistent thoughts with a simple investigative structure.

Perseverative thinking

Perseverative thinking is a common autistic and OCD trait, but other neurodivergent people can also experience it. Importantly, it can be joyful or stressful. Reading up on a special interest is pleasant, while rethinking a big decision over and over can feel draining. But they are powered by the same cognitive mechanism. Below, we'll make some distinctions between the different types of thought loops and explore approaches to release them.

Hyperfixation

Hyperfixation thought loops are persistent circular patterns that often involve worry about the future or overthinking a problem without being able to let go. They differ from rumination because they are, at their core, about gathering new information and seeking solutions. When given time and containment, they can be resolved in a few steps:

Grab some pen and paper and give yourself 5 minutes of focus. Trust me, it will likely be enough.
Ask yourself: What do I need to know about this? (that I don't know already). Write everything that comes to mind down. Be as neutral and as objective as possible.
For each item on the list, write how and when you will find out.

Now you have a first plan, and it's not in your head, so the loops can calm down. You might have to revisit it as you learn more, but when the thoughts return, you can redirect them to the plan so they can be constructive.

Rumination

Rumination, on the other hand, doesn't always benefit from new external information. It's often focused on past events and, instead, carries a message.

It's entangled with beliefs or values that we hold about ourselves, others or the world in general. When rumination comes, it's more emotionally loaded and points in the direction of something that matters to us, that we can't put our finger on. That's what makes the brain revisit it over and over again, often to a torturous degree. In other words, it's about getting internal information out into the open, where it can be read and understood.

How to get off the rumination spiral

Don't argue with the thought or tell yourself off for having it. Active resistance is a form of engagement that can become compulsive. Anyone who has experienced the classic OCD inner dialogue knows that it can make intrusive thoughts more persistent.

Instead, welcome it with curiosity. A way out of the spiral often relies on using our brains in the way they are naturally inclined to work. Give them an interesting challenge. If you position the rumination as an investigation, there is a quandary and therefore a focus.

Give the thought a time box and a space. An intentional boundary you control. You'll need less time than you imagine. Often 5-10 minutes could be enough. The space will come in the form of pen and paper, so that it is clear, specific and contained.
Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers:
- What about this matters deeply to me?
- Which of my values are being compromised here?
- What would I have wanted to happen instead?
- What would I take forward from this as a constructive action?
Note what values emerge. Check if they are truly yours. We are surrounded by other people's priorities, opinions and advice. Check what beliefs emerge. Are they accurate? Are they useful?
Take constructive action. Honour the values that you noticed. Challenge inaccurate or destructive beliefs with evidence of what is actually true about you.

You may have to try the questions a couple of times, reaching different answers. Look for the overlap and connect the dots. Often we realise that we hold some values and beliefs only when a situation goes against them.

Move your body

person shaking their arms and legs rhythmically

Now for the less obvious part. Rumination is about our deepest beliefs and values, and when they aren't honoured, we experience stress. Your body is likely already in an elevated state:

Fight - having an imaginary argument with someone (and winning each time)

Flight - repeating alternative scenarios to avoid experiencing the negative emotion of what actually happened

Freeze - staying stuck in a 'why-me' questioning because you can't see a clear way forward

Fawn - blaming yourself entirely for whatever happened to appease your harsh inner critic

Thinking your way out of a physical state is rarely enough. But working with your body alongside it can help a lot.

Start by checking if you can name the emotions you're feeling. A feelings wheel and sensations list can help with that. (For people who experience alexithymia, this might not be possible. If that's you, don't worry; you can skip that part, or try to explore it with the tools mentioned above.)
Next, try moving your body wherever you feel a sensation. Whether you named it or not doesn't matter; pay attention to any physical signals and respond to them. You feel confusion clenching in your jaw? - Wiggle it to release. You feel anger buzzing in your arms? - Do your best air punches. You feel frustration tingling in your legs? - Try some shakes, jumps or squats.
Once you start moving, your body tends to show you the way. If it helps, play some music. It's not really dancing, but rhythm helps, and music can release emotions.

Ultimately, rumination can be seen as a messenger. When we allow the message to be properly heard and processed, the repetition can ease. The nagging reminder can soften and eventually go away. You may not get the message the first time, and that's OK. Give it another go; each loop is just an opportunity to try again in a different way.

As usual, all doodles are by me, and alt text is embedded.